A poem to celebrate 1000 page likes and 750,000 reads on The Cupid Touch.


For five years every bedtime
Has been a battle-ground –
What once were cries now pleading,
And pyjamas thrown around.

“But Mummy, I’m still hungry!”
Gets me tearing out my hair,
As does the constant wriggling
And the “Mummy, it’s not fair!”

I can’t seem to explain it –
That every single night
He goes from cute to monstrous
Once I switch off the main light.

And how is it he thinks of
Fifty thousand things to say
When I’ve sat with him already
And asked all about his day?

By the time he gives up fighting
And lays down his monstrous head,
I’m barely still awake myself
And longing for my bed.

Instead I have to climb back up
And sort out all the mess,
Or exercise, or work or worse –
Use Facebook to impress.

But then a week ago, when I
Was tired to my core
(And admittedly, hungover,
From a foolish night before) –

I lay down in the afternoon
And said, “I need a nap.”
Expecting that my monster
Would start jumping on my lap.

Instead he stroked my shoulder,
Tucked my duvet around me,
Then went and got a story
And read it beautifully.

Once finished, he said,
“Sleep well!” and kissed me on the head
Then quietly took his toys
Down to the bottom of my bed.

His peace and quiet was soothing,
Even though it was quite short,
And I lay there, quietly hoping
This was care that I had taught.

Then, rested for a moment
I didn’t feel so wrecked
When he jumped on me and asked
If we could play with lego next.

Getting up was easier
With a monster helping me –
And at least I got to sit and build
A lego robot tree.


Ten Days, Ten Dates

This is something suggested to me a while ago, and I’ve been mulling over doing it. There have been short periods of time when it wouldn’t have been appropriate, but I figured it’s time to take advantage of the current single status and hit the dating scene purely in order to provide you all with blogging entertainment.

So to that end, between now and Christmas I am going to go on ten dates with randomly selected people. I want to do this without once going on a dating site (since we all know my few disastrous forays into that realm) and without knowing who I’m going to be meeting up with for maximum hilarity.

Here’s Where You Come In

The best way to get set up is by your friends, apparently, and in this group I’m including Facebook and Wattpad and blogging friends. Friends know you best. So they both know the sort of person you’d meet up and have a lovely evening with, and the kind of person you are going to clash with BIGTIME, and end up having some kind of a showdown with.

I’m leaving this up to all of you. You can message me on Facebook or email to arrange the details with me, without once telling me who I’ll be meeting, or why you think it would make good blogging material. If you want to set me up with someone you think is quite nice, that’s fine. Or with a mega-nerd so it’s awkward, that’s fine too. With a massive fascist is also fine. I can promise no actual physical violence. You can even send me on a date with someone I know if you think it’d be funny or if the individual and I are overdue a catch-up.

I will then blog about each and every encounter, without ever mentioning names (unless the date wants me to) or too many identifying features. What I will promise is a good few anecdotes and disasters, and enough of an insight into the date and into me to make it genuinely good reading.

I can also promise that the date will not have a totally terrible time. Pain in the ass that I am, I can be relatively entertaining and nice when I want to be, and I will also promise to dress up nicely, depending on venue.

A Few Rules:

I’m not expecting any free dinners. Bills will be split equally. I’m big on that.

Dates will ideally be in Cambridge. If they are in London or other nearby places, I might have to suggest a slightly different split of the bill in order not to destitute myself following the train fare.

No actual psychopaths, please. I’d like to still be around to blog about it the next day. I may also live blog a few details at the time. Or live tweet or something.

There will be no bad behaviour on a first date, which means the blog will maintain its PG rating. Just so everyone is clear what a “date” means. I have standards, you know…

I am boringly heterosexual, so would ideally like dates with guys.

This all relies on the fabulous people I know getting involved, so please step in as soon as you like. I’m looking forward to getting these set up and to what disasters I can come up with.

Let the chaos commence…